The Dent Stalker

Weird...Today I had a run in with the "dent stalker." Here's a little bit of history. Roughly 2 years ago, my wife and I bought a minivan. Ruth wasn't used to having more car to maneuver and ding-ed the right side of the car. A couple of months later she smashed the left side. And ever since we've been riding around with both sides smashed in pretty good.

What has surprised Ruth and me over the last year of driving with huge dents in the car, are the irrepressible amount of people who offer their repair services, as well as the price range they'll do it for. For example, I've been speeding along the freeway at 55mph and guys are trying to flag me down. I'll be at a red light and they'll be hounding me from the passenger side, asking me to pull over. The best was a young man (a real go-getter). He pulled up to our home and proceeded to give his sales pitch. My wife was very cordial about it and turned him down...not because she felt pressured, just 'cause decisions that cost over $100 we like to talk about first.

Today, the dent stalker caught me. I had been driving to the beach after a long hard day of work. I work anywhere from 10-11 hour days. I do my best at what I do...so I felt more than deserving of a good one hour surf session. But he caught me. I was just passing the Aina Haina area when I began to veer over to the right. Just then I heard a honk and a guy began waving at me, pointing to the side of the van. It was the Dent Stalker.
"Right, I know...the dents I understand," I said out loud. Already, I was breathing out sighs of frustration. The kind of sighs that say, "Man, How did I get caught?" Especially, since I have to pull over now, because the place up ahead is where I was planning on surfing.

I pull the car over. Turn off the engine and dismount. My first glance of the ocean is of long white lines with more sets on the horizon coming in. Then behind my bruised van I see the dent stalker is already heading my way. He's nice but fast talking. He's helpful but over promises. He's overall a cool dude, but really in a rush to make some quick cash. How do I know? Well, I'm in the same boat...just I want some quick waves. Seriously, his first offer gave it away: $175. In addition, I had to listen to the negative reasons of why taking my car in to get it done professionally was a bad idea. I nodded and specifically laid out my reasons for pulling over.
"I'm just here to surf, man," I said with a smirk. He continued to over-promise.
"It'll be done in half an hour."
"Just run to the nearest ATM, get the cash and it'll be done."
"The time we're here talking about this I could have had it done by now."
And more over-promises.
"I can have it done in 7minutes, You can even time me," he said.

Finally, with the thought of postponing my surf session to fix the van I let linger and simmer for a moment. I thought, Let's see, I was given a $100 bonus. I can use it for this. Maybe. Why not? The car should look nicer. Okay. Let him do it. See if he can do it right.

6:20pm. He started the work. Suck. Pull. Bang Bang Bang. Suck. Pull. Bang Thud Bang Thud Thud. Kang Kank Bang. Spray. Spray Spray. Wipe Wipe Wipe.
6:26pm. It doesn't look like he was done but he stood back staring at the job as if to admire some work of art. But I wasn't satisfied. Now, I'm not a car repair guy by any long stretch of the imagination. I'm sure he saw worst or better, but I wasn't impressed. I guess he could tell.

Suddenly, he started asking for feedback. I told him I wasn't satisfied. I pointed out some unfinished parts wonder why hadn't he done something about those parts. Heck, if I'm going to pay for something make it worth my time and money. Buddy is cutting into "surf time." What's more important than that to me?

Now Dent Stalker was on the defense. He said it looked better than before. He said, it wouldn't ever look like it was brand new. He said it would take for me to wash the whole car with AJAX before I could put on a new coat of paint. Then, he was telling me not to condemn his work. Well, I didn't. But perhaps he chose to serve the wrong customer. A customer that is harder to please. And a couple of dents that are hard to do a perfect job on. I don't know. All I know is that I could have done the same with a plunder and a wet rag. That's all he used as I watched.

After he failed to listen to any reason he decided to leave quietly. And so did I... Well, at least I did. The dent stalker chose to leave me with a curse or two. It sounded like he hoped I got eaten by sharks or something. In my case, highly unlikely. I took down his license plate, in case I had any more trouble. I grabbed my board, then proceeded to the water and had a great session surfing. And while I surfed I wondered if I'd ever see the dent stalker ever again. He completely exposed himself and gave it a go and failed to achieve any thing. Only time will tell.