Socks Aren't Important

At times I feel like I have four babies, my son, my two daughters, and my husband. During those times, I’m just so frustrated with this man that I married. He’s self centered, always too tired or busy to help out, he’s makes the biggest mess and doesn’t help clean it up, and on and on and on. I can pick out every imperfection in the man I’ve chosen to be MY Helpmate and Love.

Sometimes it honestly feels like I’m doing everything, taking care of our home and children, all by myself. Thoughts flash through my mind that, I don’t need him, I’m already doing everything myself. Then I remember, if I was really by myself, I would also have to be bringing in the money everyday and not be able to tend to my own children as much as I am now. I do need my husband’s help. Especially after a long day, when he does come home, even when he’s tired, I do get more help than if I was alone!

The best advice I’ve heard recently about over looking our spouses weakness’ was on the radio. Lately, I’ve been listening to Dr. Laura’s talk show while driving to pick up my kids from preschool. Dr. Laura is a marriage, family, and child councilor and has written many books on these subjects such as "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," a New York Times bestseller. Her advice was, “Don’t pick fights over the little things, like socks on the floor. Instead, every time you see those socks remind yourself that those socks mean that your husband is not dead or you are not divorced.” This now really gets me thinking how grateful I am to have my husband than irritated for what he doesn’t do.

Here are a few other things that I/We try to remember to do through out our week to strengthen our marriage. (Yes, I often have to initiate them.)

· Always remember why you got married and express it. My husband and I often joke around with silly reasons “why we got married.” Example: “That’s why I married you, because you’re a good driver.” You may even have to strain your brain to remember the real reason’s you married but don’t ever forget them. Then find new reasons to love him. I love how my husband reads to OUR beautiful children.

· Go on dates, if possible once a week or minimum of 2 times a month. No kids allowed. Before we were married, we spent a lot of time keeping the love alive. Why stop when the kids come? Because we think our love will endure anything? Try to do fun things together once in a while, not just a movie and a meal. Even double dates are fun, just make sure you talk to your date during the date!

· Talk to each other. Don’t only talk about the kids and work! Talk about dreams, goals, and your future together. Be positive about life and your future.

Yes, your children are very important but your relationship with your husband is even more important. Young children know when there is tension in the house and they also know when they are constantly surrounded by love. Children are happier when they know their parents are happy and love each other. Then they don’t have to choose sides.

When your children are all grown up and gone, what will your relationship be with your spouse? Will you have to get to know your husband all over again? Or will your relationship be even stronger and more loving than the day you got married. Remember, when Mommy is happy, the house is happy. Both marriage and parenting is a lot of work. Keep up the great work! We are all in this together! May the force be with you. J