Discipline: Doing it vs How do you do it?

Many times I have been asked “How do you do it?” People seem to think I have well behaved children even though I always get the worst part of them, I am always grateful to hear, “Your children are so easy to baby-sit.” The next few blogs are some of my favorite parenting advice

1. Always remember that you are bigger, stronger, and wiser than your babies. Therefore, you always win. (I say this rule applies until your children are 7 or 8, then your children start getting wiser than you and you should be able to talk things through by this age.) Don’t try to bargain or argue with a 3 year old. If they don’t want to move or start to throw a tantrum, pick them up and put them somewhere appropriate.

2. Give children a time limit, to make their decision, by counting out loud. Don’t count any higher than 3. If you really want more time for your sake, just count slower (one......two......three!) If you want your child to move faster, count faster (one, two, three!) THEN follow through with the consequence as soon as you get to the number “three.” They already had the numbers, one and two to make the decision to do the right thing, so now the number three is “your” decision about what is going to happen.

3. When it comes to discipline, be CONSISTANT! If you are NOT your children are VERY smart and know that you won’t do anything so they will get their way in the end. So count to three then ACT right away! If you use “Time Out” then make sure you make it a big deal and put them on time out, don’t just use it as a threat.

4. Give your children choices. Children like choices even if the choices are two options that are in your favor. Example: “Pink or Purple dress?” “Pick up your toys or brush your teeth?” No matter what always keep your promise about your child’s good and bad consequences that they’ve chosen.

5. Pick your battles. Some things are worth making a big deal about like safety and respect. Other things are just about our own pride, like what shirt and shorts they have chosen to match together.

6. Talk to your children. Inform your children, even 2 year olds, what is going to happen today. This way they know what is going to come “next” or what to look forward to and when it will happen, “after…” Also talk about how we should act at certain places BEFORE arrive there. Make consequences before hand. If you say the consequence is to leave early, remember again to follow through!

7. Don’t allow siblings to name call, fight, or say, “I’m not your friend.” As soon as you hear fighting or any type of name calling, call them to you right away. Playing time is now over and have them sit near you until they are ready to play nicely and be friends again. Hug and make up.

8. ALWAYS say, “I love you,” “Thank you,” and sometimes even “I’m sorry,” to your children. Never forget to recognize all the good that they are doing and tell them so. Remember, ALWAYS give them hugs and kisses.